Face to Pavement

What is it you really don't want to feel?

 

If you aren't experiencing the level of peace you desire, discovering this feeling and facing it head-on is the quickest, most effective way to transform your life. While it can be scary, you'll find that the real pain was in the fear, not the feeling.

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This is because when we avoid a feeling, we close off. We disconnect from ourselves, end up lonely, stressed, stuck, or sick, and we don't know why. We end up creating more of the exact feelings we're avoiding.

 

Long ago, I discovered this approach as a way to undo my anxiety, and it was my son who, using it himself, dubbed it the "Face-to-Pavement Method." We found that when we let ourselves feel fully whatever it was we were afraid of feeling, the issue disappeared.

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The concept isn't new—we've all heard that it's important to feel our feelings, but . . .

▻ few of us do it consistently;

▻ the mind is so tricky that it can be difficult to identify the actual feeling we're avoiding; 

▻ we spend years trying to resolve what's in the mind when it's the body that holds the feelings; and

▻ the real key is in the full allowing.

 

When we relax the body around the feeling, just letting it be there, magic happens. (If you can't feel your body, hope is not lost, but your process might be a bit different.) 

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 Knowing where/when the feeling originated is helpful in identifying the precise sensation to focus on, but the knowing itself doesn't resolve the issue.

 

In this video, I talk about my discovery and use of the method:

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This work reconnects us with ourselves—the foremost, most important relationship in our lives—and the more we reconnect, the more secure we feel, the clearer we become, and the more ease, peace, and joy move in.

 

The question, "What is it I don't want to feel right now?" can take you deep into yourself to uncover "the reasons why." Feel around inside of yourself for that thing you're scared to touch—the ickiest ick. It's inside of you—it's yours—so what is it? And why avoid it? Especially when avoiding it holds it in place and going into it dissolves it.

 

If you feel any tension, you can bet you're resisting a feeling, and it might not even make sense, but it won't leave as long as you're resisting it. 

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For more on using this method, including a warning and some examples of how I've missed the target, please visit my videos page.

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Another practice I recommend is to imagine or remember the way you want to feel and notice the difference in the body between that and your current state.  If you're unable to identify the exact block keeping you from your desired state, as often as possible over the coming days, become aware of the heaviness or tightness and pay close attention to the thoughts and memories that arise, as they'll point the way to the feeling you're avoiding. The process can be accelerated/intensified by "breathing in" the feelings you desire.​

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Although the metaphorical advice, "just let your face hit the pavement" is simple, there's so much more to say about this process that I'm writing a book (called, unsurprisingly, Face to Pavement, The Direct Approach to Rapid Transformation). If you'd like to be notified when it's available, please enter your email address below.

 

I love helping people reconnect with themselves, so if you'd like a coaching session, you can book here. I hope to see you soon!​  

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